Opinions, please!

Have you ever just been at your wits end with one of your kids?  You know they keep on and keep on and keep on and so on and so on, and you keep saying "No, don't do that!" over and over.  They keep doing it anyway, even after being punished for it 3 times.  Well I had a moment like that with Aiden last night.  It had been a long day, a very long day, and he just wouldn't let up and had been in trouble 3 times if not more in the past 25 minutes.  Well then he decides to get about an inch away from my face and start screaming at me.

Now, have you ever done something that you are not proud of, as a parent?  You know maybe your kid is an inch away from your face after being in trouble 3 times if not more in the past 25 minutes, and they're just right there in your face yelling -- screaming, at you.  Then maybe you, in your frustration raise your voice back at them and say "You better get out of my face little boy!" and your child backs away and starts crying, because you yelled at them while they were yelling at you, an inch away from your face.

That's what happened at our house last night.  I felt immediately horrible for losing my temper and yelling at Aiden, but I was just really at my wits end with him acting up at that point.  So I got up and went to the bathroom, and I was praying and asking for guidance.  Then all of a sudden I hear my Mother-in-Law telling Justin "If I EVER see that girl screaming in my babies face like that again I WILL call Child Advocate!"  First of all, I would just like to say that I did not scream in Aidens face.  Did I raise my voice?  Yep, I sure did!  But he was yelling at me -- his mother, an inch away from my face!  Of course I'm going to get angry, that's disrespectful and he knows better.  He knows he shouldn't be doing that.  But I did not scream at him.  I did raise my voice and tell him to get out of my face, which he did after that because kids can always tell your "I mean business" tone of voice.

Well then my Mother-in-Law decides to tell my Husband that he needs to "Step up and act like a man and tell her that you're not going to tolerate her screaming in your little boys face like that."  I'm sorry, since when is it not okay to raise your voice at your child who is yelling at you right in your face?  I did not bend down and get in his face to yell at him, I simply raised my voice at him while he was already in my face.  I didn't threaten him or say I was going to bust his butt, all I said was "You had better get out of my face, little boy."  Because, well, he better not ever get up in my face screaming at me.  She acts like I got in his face and was screaming at him in some evil tone of voice, which did not happen.  He was already in my face when I raised my voice at him, it scared him because he knows when I use that tone of voice I'm serious and he's in trouble and/or doing something very wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I feel bad about it.  Then again I feel badly anytime I have to punish Aiden.  I do not often lose my cool with him, I don't hit him when I get angry -- in fact most of the time I will take a time out to sit and think about what would be the best way to go about discipline when I'm angry.  I don't act out of anger, or at least I try my best as much as is humanly possible to not act out of anger towards anyone especially my babies!

So my question is: Do you consider what I did bad enough for CPS or Child Advocate to come in and remove my children from my care?  Or is this, in your opinion, just another case of Justins mother making a mountain out of a mole hill and sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong?

In other news we were so worried that Jagger had Chickenpox!  His entire back and neck, head and some of his legs were broke out in these little red bumps.  I took a photo of it to show my friend Summer to get her opinion on it, and we just could not be sure.  So I took him to the doctor yesterday.

Jaggers Back!

It was not Chickenpox, it's a viral rash that is because of his cold.  When the cold goes away the rash will as well.  But, and this is a big but to me, he was diagnosed with Asthmatic Bronchitis, and has to take breathing treatments 3 times a day and cough syrup before each treatment.  He also got prescribed an antibiotic and a cream to put on his rash.  Poor little guy!  His rash is already looking a little better, I think though.

I'm Keepin' On Keepin' On, as they say

I know that I have been MIA (again!) and I'm sorry about that.  I've been figuring some things out with my family and we're still getting settled in.  We've also started some of our projects for the new house, which is a huge undertaking to say the least.  We've got the hallway painted mostly, which is no small feat when you have two children (boys, no less!) under the age of four.  After today I think that I should be good to go and be able to get back to some semblance or normalcy and routine.  To say the least I am quite excited about that. 

Jagger at Church last Sunday Night!

My In-Laws have already had their Thanksgiving.  For the past few years they have done Thanksgiving the weekend before the actual day of Thanksgiving.  This year was no different, which I actually don't like but it's not my decision.  It was my first year preparing a dish for their Thanksgiving meal though, and I was beyond happy when I was asked to contribute.  My Mother-in-Law tends to not take Justin and I seriously as married adult parents, and I've never before been invited to cook or included in the Holiday meal preparations for Justins' side of the family.  I felt like this was such a big step in us being seen as independent adult parents and a legitimate married couple.  This is mostly about my Mother-in-Law who refuses to accept or respect the fact that I am indeed Justins wife and that he is actually old enough to be a married man with children.  She has laid claim, if only in her own head, to not only my Husband but my two children as well.  I think you all have realized by now how bossy she is, and if you haven't then chances are you are exactly like her.  She tries to control all situations and thinks that no one is able to make a sound decision without her advice, opinions, instruction and demands.  So I felt like being asked to prepare a dish for their Thanksgiving meal was a good first step in being recognized as not only part of the family but as the capable, adult wife of her Son.

Aiden at Church last Sunday Night! (Do you like this photo effect?  I used it on both, but am not sure if I like it or not so if you want to give your 2cents then feel free!)

I spent the day with our little family and waited around on my Daddy to come pick Aiden up.  They always spend Saturday and Sunday at his second home in Virginia and playing on his property there and usually run some errands on the weekends together as well.  I'm sure that didn't sit well with Serena (the Mother-in-Law) but I am not going to disrupt my Sons patterns and routines and his special one-on-one time with his best friend aka his Grandfather just because Thanksgiving comes early around here.  After my Daddy and Aiden left I decided it was time to start cooking.  I was making my homemade Baked Macaroni and Cheese, which is Justins favorite food in the entire world ever.  Then we all got cleaned up, dressed and ready to walk next door and spend the day with our extended family and all the Aunts, Uncles and Cousins that had come in for the pseudo Thanksgiving activities.

Emma & Andrea each wearing one of my boots!

Every year I end up getting two little shadows who follow me around and want to sit and talk to me.  This year was no different.  I spent most of the evening with Andrea and Emma, taking pictures, watching Andrea do her cheers she learned in Cheerleading and listening to Emma tell jokes and just be a silly little girl.  It always makes me realize just how badly I want a little girl of my own some day.  Andrea and I did pedicures that night, and she wanted to do matching colors which she thought was just super cool.  I had a great time hanging out with my baby cousins and doing girlie things for a change.

Our toes with their sparkly green polish!

Other than that I have been working on my Home Management Diary, as I call it.  Some people refer to it as a Homemaking Journal, Household Management Binder and probably about eleventy hundred other names.  I've been reading a lot of new blogs and really trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with The Vintage Housewife.  Oh, and I was asked by my bestest best friend Kristy to co-author a blog with her based on our old website Sweet-Sale.com and I, of course, thought it was a great idea and said yes.   So I'm not working on a third blog, but thankfully I have her help and don't really have to put in as much time as I do here.  This will always be my main blogging focus, as I've met some of the most lovely and wonderful people through this blog.  Sweet Sale is more like a creative writing project for Kristy and I, and it's more humor driven than this blog or The Vintage Housewife is.  Feel free to check it out, read our About Kristy and About Ashlee pages and check out some of the posts we've go up.  I'm sure for the people who have been reading this blog for a while that one particular seminar I posted here will be quite familiar, but Kristy has put up a few new posts and I highly recommend her Top 5 Womens Products That Totally Aren't Stupid Or Anything (although I don't agree that Vajazzling should have been in the number one spot, but it's not my list) and the really odd letter that we wrote back to someone who was spamming Kristys' email account in 2008.  I've got another post going up on The Vintage Housewife later tonight.


How do you plan to spend your Thanksgiving?

PYHO- To my Baby Loves

Dear Aiden,

Aiden!  My darling boy, sweet as pie and all personality.  These days you are insisting on doing everything on your own.  Big things, small things -- everything all on your very own!  It's a kind of bitter sweetness that I never knew existed.  I love it because it's validating as a Mommy to see your baby boy grow into a loving, self-assured, imaginative, beautiful, independent and very kind little boy.  It's bitter though because I loved being the one to do all of those things for you.  I know that it's a Mothers job to teach you to do all of those things yourself, to teach you to be kind and sympathetic to others but to not let people walk all over you and to teach you how to grow into your own person so that one day you can be a wonderful grown man with good values and a good upbringing and childhood.  It does go by so fast though.

Today, as I sit thinking about your 4th birthday I really feel extra blessed to be your Mommy.  Because you are amazingly kind for a 4 year old little boy.  You have an imagination like no other I've ever seen, and I can have better conversations with you than I can have with most adults, you're so smart.  And you're sweet!  Lord, are you ever sweet -- you're just as sweet as pie, and you love everyone around you with your full heart.  You're the first one to offer something of yours to a sick cousin or friend, giving them candy, toys, juice, food or whatever it is that you have that you think will make them feel better.  You say 'I Love You' to all of your family and friends before you leave them, and you give out hugs like nobodies business!  I'm proud of the little boy that you are, and I'm proud of your Daddy and myself for having raised you to be the child that you are.

It won't be long until you are four years old.  Has it really been almost four years since the first time I saw that angelic little face of yours?  I love watching you grow, but I miss your younger days.  I suspect that it's always going to be that way, even when you're 40.  You've taught me so much about myself, about love and about the world.  Most importantly you taught me that with little boys you want to lay something over them while you're reaching for the diaper to put on them because that split second is the second they will choose to pee, directly on you, almost every time.  Before I had you I was a whole other person!  I am a better version of myself because of you, you. Jagger and Daddy truly do bring out the best in me.  It is because of you that I know how to be a better wife, a better friend and a better person in general.  You taught me what love truly is, real unconditional love the kind that can't be broken.

Don't grow up too fast, love!  Always know that Mommy is here for you, no matter what you've done or what you've been through.  You're such a special little guy, and you're pretty handsome as well, if I do say so myself!  You've got a HUGE personality and you're not like anyone I've ever know, child or adult.  I love how innocent you are, and how your personality can capture an entire room full of people.  I love how sweet you are and how bad you feel when someone else is sick or crying.  I love how much you love your brother, how protective of him you are and how you like to play with him and share with him.  

To sum it up and quote one of our favorite books to read together:

"I love you through and through!  Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow too!"

Prose & 3 photographs!

As my profile indicates I write prose.  I don't generally share it with anyone, but on occasion I will.  I recently let Ian read some of my work.  You know what they say, Don't bring any at all if you didn't bring enough for the rest of the class.  So here it is, in all it's glory.


There is fire in his eyes. But it does not compare to the white hot fire of his soul. He is all contradiction and no simplicity. He pretends she is but she is not. His lips are warm and his smile sweet, but his tongue is acidic, sharp like a razors edge. When his eyes turn upon her he smiles and you can see he's intrigued yet alarmed and defensive. He is often there, more often than not. Responsible for few, but true when he is. Picking her up when she has fallen and chased after when she has ran. With all the responsibility of a man, yet with vague traces of the fierce and true heart of a child, acting on whimsy and feelings alone. Wanting to be loved, she thinks, for this moment anyway. As she looks up at him from what she's doing, he looks back, his eyes sparkle with curiosity and much more. His lips part into the slightest smile as he runs his fingers through her hair and he speaks. "You are so beautiful" and as if he's never been wrong she smiles, sighs, and a piece of her dies inside.
 
Oh, and I'm going to include like three photos, cause I took them the other day, and I love them.  So that means i gotta show someone!

Just an update!

I've been a bit neglectful of my blog recently.  I don't intend to be, but I've been really sick and then everything else just seems like it has went to hell as well.  I am getting better now, finally! 

On Thursday we found out that there was a leak in the play room here.  The floor is now rotten and has to be replaced.  Which of course means that we have to put down new carpet or flooring as well.  Great!  My husband was preparing to take the carpet up and inspect the damage when we pulled up the corner of the carpet and discovered that there is black mold under there.  My husband is allergic to mold and has asthma.  So we have to hire someone else to deal with that. 

Hiring someone to take care of the mold and the new floor normally wouldn't be a problem, but on Friday when he went in to work he got his paycheck and there was a letter in it saying that they were terminating his employment.  So yeah, he got fired.  Which puts us in a horrid situation because we need all this work done.  There is also another problem.  Since having Jagger last October the Playroom has been used as storage for the massive amount of baby clothes and things we have for him. All of his clothes have ruined.  Completely ruined.  So now after he grows out of his current size he has absolutely no clothing and we have to buy new.  Which wouldn't normally be a problem either.  Except that my husband has lost his job and we live in a very small southern town, and it's hard to find work here.  Jagger is already starting to need some size 6-9 months things, so it probably won't be much longer until he outgrows all of his 3-6 months clothing.  He's just started to catch up, since he was born early and was just a little over 5 pounds at birth. 

So now we have to find a way to basically renovate the play room, buy the materials, buy new carpeting or hardwood and buy Jagger all new clothing as well.  I've been down about this and have taken a few days to just soak it all up and take it in.  I haven't figured out how we're going to be able to do all of this yet though.  I don't work so we were dependent on the income that Justin gets totally.  Now that it has been taken away without warning I have no clue what we are going to do.  He already has applications in everywhere because he went and applied all day Friday and all day Monday.  There are a few places that are thinking about hiring but no where that is currently hiring.  It's just been a trying time for us.  We're trying to stay positive, but it's really hard sometimes with the weight of all of this on our shoulders.  We have each other, our health and our beautiful baby boys though, so that is definitely a good thing.  If you pray then please keep our family in your prayers if you don't mind!

I have several amazing giveaways coming up for you all!  Including an awesome flat iron, a onesie or outfit of your choice from an great online store and several other great prizes as well.  I will be announcing the Sweet Dream Candle winner tonight after my children go to bed.

Fawk You Friday

It's that time of the week again!  Fawk You Friday is here, once again, and I love it!  It's hands down my favorite blog carnival/meme/link-up/whatever you want to call it!

Fawk You to my immune system yet again, because I am still sick! 

Fawk You to my husbands job for not giving me medical insurance and Fawk You to the government for also not giving me medical insurance, which is why I'm still sick!  I blame them.  Normally I don't care about insurance for me, since I'm only sick once a year or so.  When I'm sick I'm just generally mad about it though!  The rest of the time I'm content that my babies and husband have insurance, since they have a lot more doctor appointments than I do.

Speaking of doctor appointments, Fawk You RA (rheumatoid arthritis) for attacking my husband, who is only 23 years old but feels like he's 40 something.  I hate when he hurts, it makes me feel bad, and he hurts all the time.  I wish there was something I could do for him, but there's not.  )=

Fawk You West Virginia Law, for making it mandatory for my 3 year old go to preschool for at least one year before he starts Kindergarten,  He doesn't want to go, and I don't want him to go, I'm not ready for him to go!  I work with him at home and he already knows most of what you want him to learn in preschool!  He can count, say his ABC's, recognize some of the letters in the alphabet when they're written, knows his full name and our full names, can sing songs, knows all of his colors and shapes.  If they just let me keep him I could teach him to read and write his name and some simple words I'm sure, but they won't let me keep him.  I have to send him off.  )=

Fawk You school cut off date.  My 3 year old will start Kindergarten when he is 5, and then turn 6 a little over 2 months in.  Which I find ridiculous, what difference is 2 months going to make.  He's ahead of most of the kids I know now anyway, I think he'll be fine to start at 4 and then turn 5 a little over 2 months later.  I started at 4, and  I did just fine, better than "just fine" really.  Boo!