Thursday, October 21, 2010

This is why I don't leave my house...

I had a horrible day out yesterday.  Horrible.  I don't normally do all day shopping trips and such, but I had a lot to do yesterday and there was no way I was going to drive an hour to get to the nearest city and then an hour home two days in a row.  In case you're wondering, my town offers little in the way of shopping so I have to go an hour away to get to even a Wal-Mart.  Yep.  I live in southern West Virginia, what did you expect?  We don't even have movie theaters, wal-mart, starbucks...none of that here.

So the day started off okay.  We were rushing and all that, but it still started off okay.  I'm going to recap it.

  • We get there, drop Justin off at the Doctors office and head to Kohls to see about getting Jagger a shirt to go with his overalls for his pictures.  I get a really cute flannel shirt that's on sale.  Too cute.  
  • I sign up for a Kohls card simply because a gay guy asked me to nicely.  Hey, I love the gays.  If I had a dollar for every time I've been called a hag or a fag hag, I'd be giving out Oprah prizes on this bitch.
  • Then I go to the party store, and get some decorations and such for his birthday.  I got a shopping cart full of stuff for 20 dollars, not bad!
  • I purchase bottle of water.  I can not get the lid off.  I may be his very first customer who he has to teach to open these damned new lids.  Who the hell told the Aquafina people that a little tab you have to pull on the bottle lid to get it off was a good idea?  Some jackass that hates me, that's who.
  • Go back to pick Justin up.  He's gone, so I'm like okay he's at the pharmacy.  Not so.  I then go to the hospital and 3 gas stations, not there either.  Turns out the fucker walked to Wal-Mart to look for me.  I thought he was dead or something.
  • Go to the dollar tree to look at their Halloween stuff, and spend 28 more dollars on Jagger's party, but we're done with most of the party stuff.  So I'm happy!
  • We go eat.  Yay!
  • Go to Wal-Mart to get Aiden a Halloween costume.  The only Batman they have is from The Dark Knight.  Goody.  He wanted a blue Batman.  He decides to take the Dark Knight Batman costume.  Which is too long in the legs, because it 's made for an 8 year old, and Aiden is almost 4.  We get that one and agree that I can just hem the legs.
  • We go to get Jagger's photos taken.  I want to have one taken with the giant wooden 1 in his speed kills shirt and his distressed jeans.  Nope.  Since my mother in law was paying she decided that he needed to have them taken in some baby clothes.  She then proceeded to tell me that these were her photos and he would have them taken in whatever she wanted them taken in.  That that outfit was ugly or some stupid shit like that, blah blah blah.  I sit there looking at her like she's stupid for a minute, then get up to go search for Aiden a smaller Batman costume while she does her thing being all bossy and shit.  
  • Then I come back and she's still being her usual bossy self.  Yay!  Good times, good times.  Then she tells me that I need to stop this crap, because I am stressing Justin out.  Which I find amusing since she sent him a facebook message last week scolding him like a child because of our "naughty language" use.  
  • Then we leave, got cute pictures cause my baby is the cutest little boy ever and all.  
  • We go to McDonalds, where Aiden and I go in to get fruit and yogurt parfaits and a tea for me.
  • I get hit on by one of the smoothest men on the planet.  Seriously boys, you could all learn a thing or two from this douche bag, because his game was a step above any other I've ever come across.   While I was getting my drink Aiden was putting ketchup on some napkins, because he's a great kid like that.  Douche bag McDonalds employee decides this is a good way to strike up a conversation with what he thought was a single mother.  So he says to Aiden "Go ahead and make a mess buddy, I don't have to clean it up" and Aiden says "Okay buddy" and then he gets his drink beside where I am getting mine and says to me "He's so cute" and I say "Thanks, I think so" and he then replys with "You're cute too, ya know" and I say "Yeah, I know!  My Husband tells me how hot I am on a daily basis" Then he walks away.  Nice try Douche bag McDonalds employee, but if I were in fact a single Mother I would be looking for a man who makes more than 7 dollars an hour.  Someone needs to tell him that even TI doesn't have swagg when he's wearing a McDonalds uniform, so he certainly doesn't.  Gah.


Christy said...

LOL! I've always wondered why guys think they are all that. I mean really, most of the time, they are just lumps anyway. As for the MIL? I've got one of those. I just thank God my kids are grown now and I live 460 miles away from her. It is much quieter now.

NikkiDarlin' said...

HAhA sorry about your day. Mr. Smooth sounded so funny. At least he tried, silly guys.
I think all MIL's are no good.

Nikki Darlin'

Boobies said...

LOL! Sounds like a busy day for you! Just think..if you WERE a single Mom, you coulda had the McD's hookup! ;)

jennifer @ What Would Jen Do said...

the first time i got one of those water bottles i was like what the fuck is wrong with me it's just a water bottle. like an hour later i accidentally ripped the tab off. and then felt stupid.

jsmommy9804 said...

I will never let you live down that you were bested by a water bottle. SMH.
As for the mother in law...I wanna punch her in the nose, without you she wouldn't have a grandbaby to take pics of.
Hahahaha Mr. Smooth, what a douche.

Babes Mami said...

This is why I don't leave the house either.

One year olds don't need baby clothes.

Busy Working Mama said...

LOL that's awesome. MR. Smooth sounds like a prince! TGIF!

Post a Comment