Fawk You Friday?

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I'm linking up with Jana from Boobies, Babies & a Blog and Christy from My Mad Mind today for my usual Fawk You Friday.  Although I am finding very few things to say Fawk You to lately, I'm still going to participate.

• Fawk You to having to go sit at the Doctors Office today.  It always takes forever around here, and I truly do hate the wait.  

• Fawk You to the floors in my new house for not having any carpeting thanks to the dogs that my Mother-in-Law kept in here after she moved in with Granny.  Thanks to those dogs we're going to have to find a way to pay for new carpeting and such.  That's money that we just don't have.

• Fawk You to having to tell my Daddy that I'm moving.  I haven't told him yet, and I don't want to have to tell him.  I don't want to hurt him or hurt his feelings at all or anything.  

Now, I would like to say Thank You for some things!

Thank you, God, for providing us with a new home for our family.  I hope and pray that this will be a good thing for us and that it will help us to all get along better as a family.
Thank you to everyone out there in the Blogoverse that has been praying for my family through this time of change for us and who have extended their well wishes for us all!  I've made some really great friends through this blog, and have met some truly great ladies and gentlemen (yep, that's you Ian) and I'm so thankful to know you all.
Thank you to my Daddy for letting us stay with you when we needed a place to stay!  You've always been there for me when it really counted and I have no doubt that you always will be.  I love you, Daddy, even if we don't always see eye to eye.
I would like to thank God for giving me the family that he has given me.  I love them so much, and I wouldn't want anything other than them.  They make me who I am and marrying Justin and having Aiden and Jagger changed the very fiber of my being and who I am at the core of myself.

Now, I have something else I want to say, because I'm not quite sure what to do about it or how to deal with it.   I really, really need some advice so badly about this.  Anyone that could possibly help me, offer some advice or words of wisdom would be a God send right now!

My Daddy is very close to Aiden & Jagger.  Aiden and my Dad have always been best friends, ever since he was born.  They have a wonderful bond and a great relationship.  When we lived with my Dad Aiden spent a lot of time with him, as did Jagger.  Each evening when my Daddy would get home from work at 5:00 pm Aiden would go into the living room and watch TV with him, they would play games and have an ice cream together.  If it was warm out then my Dad would take him out to ride around in his tractor or play T-Ball or Basketball with him or push him on the swings.  Aiden and my Dad would eat a bag of popcorn together at around 8:00 pm or 9:00 pm each night and watch Batman, SpongeBob, Scooby Doo or Two Stupid Dogs together.

Jagger is too young to tell me that he misses his Papaw and wants to see him or spend time with him.  Aiden is not.  Aiden spoke to my Daddy on the phone last night and started crying and asking him to come and pick him up and bring him home.  He begged me to take him to my Dad's house last night.  He had an hour long melt down begging and crying and screaming and asking for his Papaw after we talked to him on the phone.  He calmed down for a bit and then started all over again.  In the middle of the second meltdown I ended up calling my Daddy back so Aiden could talk to him, but it didn't stop it at all.  It made it worse.  He begged both me and my Dad to come to get him. Saying things like "Mommy, please take me to my Papaw's house" or "Papaw, please Papaw!  Papaw come get me!  Come get me Papaw, Please Papaw, come get me!" and "I want my Papaw!  I want Papaw!  Take me to Papaw's please, Mommy, please Mommy!  Get my Mamaw to take me to my Papaw!  I want my Papaw, Please let me see my Papaw!" as well as "Popcorn!  I want my Papaw!  I want to go eat popcorn with my Papaw, Mommy, Please!  I want popcorn!  I want popcorn!  My Papaw will eat popcorn with me, I want to go eat popcorn at my Papaw's house Mommy, please take me home, please take me to my Papaw's house so I can see Papaw and eat popcorn with my Papaw!"  He said all of this while he was crying this sorrowful wale of a cry that just broke me into a million pieces of pain, hurt and Mommy guilt.

He cried for his Papaw a third time right before bed as well.  He woke up this morning asking if he could go home and see his Papaw now.  I'm taking the boys to the Doctor today, and I'm going to stop by the Post Office to see my Dad.  I promised AidenAiden last night though, he kept telling my Dad no when he would say I'll pick you up on Saturday.  He would say "No!  No, Papaw!  No!  Don't do that, Papaw!  Come pick me up now!  Right now, Papaw, come get me right now Papaw, please Papaw, please!"  My heart is breaking for my sons, and for my Daddy because I know this hurts them both.  I was so upset and so hurt last night that I couldn't even tell my Daddy that Serena gave us her house and that we are moving out of his place.

What do I do?  What can I do to help my little boy?  If anyone could give me any advice for Aiden or for telling my Dad I would be so appreciative.  I'm at my wits end, I don't know what to do here and it's breaking my heart even more.  Any suggestion or advice would be so welcome right now!

The Bad, The Other Bad & The Oh So Good!

I've got a lot to say today, couple that with the fact that I am naturally verbose and wordy and this could get long!  I'm going to try to fit it all into one post, but if I can't then I'll have to half it and write half now and half tonight before I go to bed.  I finally got Internet access late last night, but was so tired that I didn't feel like sitting up much less typing a post out.  Especially this post.

• The Bad Part

I had a horrible argument with my Dad the other evening.  This is nothing new, because we mix just about as well as oil and water.  Since we've been living with him our relationship has progressively gotten worse.  My Daddy and I can not live together.  We push each others buttons, and we both have a tendency to speak without thinking when angered.  We also both have a bad case of I'm Getting The Last Word Even If It Kills Us Both Syndrome.  Everyone knows that I lack a filter, whatever I think I say -- I got that from my Daddy.  I also picked up his quick wit and razor sharp tongue in the genetic lottery.  I consider the latter both good and bad because it means that I always have a snappy comeback that at the same time worse, meaner, funnier and wittier than whatever anyone says to provoke me.  That's not always a bad thing, but when you're arguing with your Father who has that same capability it's not so good because that means it can go from a minor disagreement to World War III in less than 10 seconds.
My Daddy and I love each other very much.  I would do anything in the world for him and anything in my power to make him happy and protect him.  He will always be there for me no matter what I do, no matter what I say and it doesn't even matter if I'm right or not because he will always be on my side, and he will always pick me up if I fall or even if I stumble.  We just can not live together.  We can't.
The day before my last post he said some cruel things to me.  He said that he has already made sure that his sisters know that if anything were to ever happen to him that I am not allowed to step foot in his hospital room at all, even if he's seconds away from death.  He said that is how much he hates me.  He hit me where it hurts the most.  He knows that my greatest fear since childhood has been something happening to him.  I worry about him and I always have, it's a side effect of losing my Mother at a very young age.  He knows that I still worry about something happening to him.  That was it.  The last straw, I just couldn't do it anymore.  He apologised later on and told me that was not true and he didn't know why he said it other than he was just really mad.  I told him that if this is what our relationship has come to then something has to give, because I'm done having cruel things said to me and I'm equally done saying cruel things and arguing. 

• The Other Bad Part

My Husbands Maternal Granny is a wonderful person.  She is so giving, caring, kind, compassionate, Godly, sweet, loving, nice, pious, considerate and just an all around lovely, amazing person.  She's getting older, and with that age comes sickness and illness.  She has had 2 or 3 surgeries since Jagger was born. She has recently had a knee surgery and was left unable to walk.  She used a wheelchair, then a walker and is now currently walking with the help of a cane when she's out, but she doesn't use any kind of walking aid within her own house.  She's not the Granny she used to be because she can't do the things she used to do, but she's still the same amazing person she has always been on the inside.  She is one of the only older women that i know who I look up to and view as a sort of role model.  She is such a good person, and everyone who knows her loves her and respects her.  She is one of the most pious women I know, but she's not narrow minded, stuck up or a hypocrite.  She's fun and she's funny.  She is everything I hope to be.  She is the pillar of this family, and she would and has done anything possible to help anyone she knows.

• The Good Part

Since Granny is in such bad shape she has to have someone with her.  Since my Mother-in-Law's house is right next door to Granny's the obvious choice would be her.  The house on the other side of Grannys' used to be Sissy Kim's, but she passed away a few days before the Baby Shower she was planning for me when I was pregnant with Aiden.  I loved her so much!  I miss her.  Justins' Aunt Audrey has moved into Sissy Kim's old house to help with Granny.  My Mother-in-Law had decided to move into Grannys' house with her.
Serena, my Mother-in-Law, was going to rent her house out because she's not living in it anymore and she doesn't plan to ever live in it again.  Justin & I asked her if we could have it, and she said yes.  We have our own home now.  Our very own home -- no more two families under one roof, no more renting, no more not being able to paint Aiden & Jaggers
We've already made plans to get the boys puppies for Christmas.  Jagger is getting a basset hound and Aiden will be allowed to pick his own dog out!  We're planning what colors to paint the boys bedroom and the playroom.  We're planning on what color walls and what color carpet will be put in our bedroom, I'm voting for hard wood all over the house by the way!  The kitchen, hallway and entryway already have hardwood which I'm psyched about because I love hardwood, so if I get my way the only rooms that will have carpets in the boys bedroom and maybe our bedroom.  I just know I want hardwood in the playroom and the living room. 
We've already planned on a Toy Story theme for the boys playroom and have tossed around the idea of their bedroom being Batman themed, since the walls are black already from when it was Justins room in High School.  I want to paint my laundry room and hall way red!  I don't know what we'll end up doing for sure, but I know I'll be posting photos.  Serena still has to get some of her stuff out so that we can move the rest of our things in and get our furniture out of storage and into our new home!  I feel so blessed, so very very blessed to be able to live here.  I have been praying for God to change my Daddys heart towards me, and this must have been in his plans.  This must be how our relationship will be healed, by putting a bit of distance between us which will allow us to have a normal happy Father Daughter relationship again.

Please continue to pray for us!  Pray that the move goes smoothly and that this will help my relationship with my Daddy.  Pray that everything goes well for us and that this will be a good thing.  I would greatly appreciate it, and I greatly appreciate those who offered prayers for our family when I asked in my last post.  If you ever need my prayers then feel free to ask in a comment or you can email me at Love.Comma.Ashlee@gmail.com or The.Zombie.Mommy@gmail.com and I will be happy to return the favor!