Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Bad, The Other Bad & The Oh So Good!

I've got a lot to say today, couple that with the fact that I am naturally verbose and wordy and this could get long!  I'm going to try to fit it all into one post, but if I can't then I'll have to half it and write half now and half tonight before I go to bed.  I finally got Internet access late last night, but was so tired that I didn't feel like sitting up much less typing a post out.  Especially this post.

  • The Bad Part
I had a horrible argument with my Dad the other evening.  This is nothing new, because we mix just about as well as oil and water.  Since we've been living with him our relationship has progressively gotten worse.  My Daddy and I can not live together.  We push each others buttons, and we both have a tendency to speak without thinking when angered.  We also both have a bad case of I'm Getting The Last Word Even If It Kills Us Both Syndrome.  Everyone knows that I lack a filter, whatever I think I say -- I got that from my Daddy.  I also picked up his quick wit and razor sharp tongue in the genetic lottery.  I consider the latter both good and bad because it means that I always have a snappy comeback that at the same time worse, meaner, funnier and wittier than whatever anyone says to provoke me.  That's not always a bad thing, but when you're arguing with your Father who has that same capability it's not so good because that means it can go from a minor disagreement to World War III in less than 10 seconds.
My Daddy and I love each other very much.  I would do anything in the world for him and anything in my power to make him happy and protect him.  He will always be there for me no matter what I do, no matter what I say and it doesn't even matter if I'm right or not because he will always be on my side, and he will always pick me up if I fall or even if I stumble.  We just can not live together.  We can't.
The day before my last post he said some cruel things to me.  He said that he has already made sure that his sisters know that if anything were to ever happen to him that I am not allowed to step foot in his hospital room at all, even if he's seconds away from death.  He said that is how much he hates me.  He hit me where it hurts the most.  He knows that my greatest fear since childhood has been something happening to him.  I worry about him and I always have, it's a side effect of losing my Mother at a very young age.  He knows that I still worry about something happening to him.  That was it.  The last straw, I just couldn't do it anymore.  He apologised later on and told me that was not true and he didn't know why he said it other than he was just really mad.  I told him that if this is what our relationship has come to then something has to give, because I'm done having cruel things said to me and I'm equally done saying cruel things and arguing. 

  • The Other Bad Part
My Husbands Maternal Granny is a wonderful person.  She is so giving, caring, kind, compassionate, Godly, sweet, loving, nice, pious, considerate and just an all around lovely, amazing person.  She's getting older, and with that age comes sickness and illness.  She has had 2 or 3 surgeries since Jagger was born. She has recently had a knee surgery and was left unable to walk.  She used a wheelchair, then a walker and is now currently walking with the help of a cane when she's out, but she doesn't use any kind of walking aid within her own house.  She's not the Granny she used to be because she can't do the things she used to do, but she's still the same amazing person she has always been on the inside.  She is one of the only older women that i know who I look up to and view as a sort of role model.  She is such a good person, and everyone who knows her loves her and respects her.  She is one of the most pious women I know, but she's not narrow minded, stuck up or a hypocrite.  She's fun and she's funny.  She is everything I hope to be.  She is the pillar of this family, and she would and has done anything possible to help anyone she knows.

  • The Good Part
Since Granny is in such bad shape she has to have someone with her.  Since my Mother-in-Law's house is right next door to Granny's the obvious choice would be her.  The house on the other side of Grannys' used to be Sissy Kim's, but she passed away a few days before the Baby Shower she was planning for me when I was pregnant with Aiden.  I loved her so much!  I miss her.  Justins' Aunt Audrey has moved into Sissy Kim's old house to help with Granny.  My Mother-in-Law had decided to move into Grannys' house with her.
Serena, my Mother-in-Law, was going to rent her house out because she's not living in it anymore and she doesn't plan to ever live in it again.  Justin & I asked her if we could have it, and she said yes.  We have our own home now.  Our very own home -- no more two families under one roof, no more renting, no more not being able to paint Aiden & Jaggers
We've already made plans to get the boys puppies for Christmas.  Jagger is getting a basset hound and Aiden will be allowed to pick his own dog out!  We're planning what colors to paint the boys bedroom and the playroom.  We're planning on what color walls and what color carpet will be put in our bedroom, I'm voting for hard wood all over the house by the way!  The kitchen, hallway and entryway already have hardwood which I'm psyched about because I love hardwood, so if I get my way the only rooms that will have carpets in the boys bedroom and maybe our bedroom.  I just know I want hardwood in the playroom and the living room. 
We've already planned on a Toy Story theme for the boys playroom and have tossed around the idea of their bedroom being Batman themed, since the walls are black already from when it was Justins room in High School.  I want to paint my laundry room and hall way red!  I don't know what we'll end up doing for sure, but I know I'll be posting photos.  Serena still has to get some of her stuff out so that we can move the rest of our things in and get our furniture out of storage and into our new home!  I feel so blessed, so very very blessed to be able to live here.  I have been praying for God to change my Daddys heart towards me, and this must have been in his plans.  This must be how our relationship will be healed, by putting a bit of distance between us which will allow us to have a normal happy Father Daughter relationship again.

Please continue to pray for us!  Pray that the move goes smoothly and that this will help my relationship with my Daddy.  Pray that everything goes well for us and that this will be a good thing.  I would greatly appreciate it, and I greatly appreciate those who offered prayers for our family when I asked in my last post.  If you ever need my prayers then feel free to ask in a comment or you can email me at Love.Comma.Ashlee@gmail.com or The.Zombie.Mommy@gmail.com and I will be happy to return the favor!



The Random Blogette said...

I am so happy for you sweetie that you are able to move out and be on your own. I couldn't imagine living under the same roof as my parents. My dad has a way to push my buttons to and he always tried to overrule me when I punish my kids and it hurts, but luckily I can go home and be done with it. I couldn't imagine living like that. I am sure that your relationship will get better once you have moved out. I am praying for you sweetie! Good luck and keep us posted!

Melissa {gweb} said...

Ashlee, I am so happy for you. Congrats!
And I will keep your family in my thoughts.

Copyboy said...

It goes without saying that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I can totally empathize about that "last word" syndrome.

Babes Mami said...

That is beyond amazing!!

Ashlee @ The Zombie Housewife said...

Thanks y'all! I'm so excited, but it's going to be a lot of hard work! First we have to start getting the whole place cleaned out and getting Serena's stuff moved over to Granny's house. Because after we get that done then we have to move my stuff down from storage on my Daddys property in Virginia. So it'll be like moving twice.

The place does need some work. There is no carpet or anything in the living room and two of the bedrooms so we have to figure out a way to get carpet or hardwood floors in so that the boys can be comfortable and not have to wear socks and shoes because their Mommy is paranoid about them getting a splinter in their tootsies!

nitebyrd said...

You've got my prayers and good thoughts. I do think by having your own home you'll improve your relationship with your father. And being close to people you love and respect will do much for you, too!

NikkiDarlin' said...

I've been praying for you hun. I'm so happy to hear about you getting your own house. The hardwood floors idea is awesome. we have hardwood floors in the living room hallway and our room. skylee's room is the only one with carpet. and our living room and hallway is red. I can't wait to see pictures. With your creative mind I bet it's going to look awesome.
Nikki Darlin'

Katie said...

Just found your blog tonight through Mama's Little Nestwork, and I love it! Sounds like I stopped by at just the right time, and you are moving out and getting your own house - congrats!

Look forward to reading more about your newest chapter....

jc said...

This is splendid news! So glad things are finally working out, way to go girl! Hugs!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

You go gurl!

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