Monday, November 15, 2010

I've lost my balance

PhotobucketBeing a Wife and Mom is a balancing act.  A tricky one at that, like walking a tight rope over a pool filled with rabid sharks.  Sometimes it's hard, but you eventually get used to it.  Recently though my balance has shifted, due to the move, trying to get things around the new house straightened out and everything that comes with that.  Which has made it more difficult, and I haven't yet found my center of gravity again.  I'm trying, don't get me wrong, but it's just hard.

Obviously I don't work outside the home, and I honestly have no desire to.  I'm not lazy, but I just don't have a desire to leave my kids with someone else and go to a job that I don't particularly care for.  I don't have an issue with other Women working outside the home, but it's just not right for me, at least not right now anyway.  I have a not yet 4 year old and a 12 month old, and I feel like my place is here with them.  There are barely enough hours in my day for playing with the boys, reading to them, cooking meals, making snacks, cleaning, laundry, getting this house in order, changing diapers, singing songs while my oldest is going number 2 on the potty (yes, I really do that!  He insists that I make up songs about whatever word he says while he is pooping, and who am I to argue with the harmony of his bathroom experience?), kissing boo-boos, putting away clothes, spending individual and family time with the boys, spending quality time with my husband, blogging, facebook'ing, showering, taking time for me and the eleventy point five hundred other things I have to get done in one day.  So I really don't see how I could add even one more thing onto my list.

I'm struggling with our decision to move here and the impact it is having on Aiden.  Quite frankly I miss the convenience of living in town as well, and I don't like living out here where I don't have anything in walking distance and I can't make a 2 minute run to a store for something or another anytime I need to.  It's been a lot of work trying to get my Mother-in-Law's things out of this house and into Granny's house.  It's been even more work trying to make her former house feel like our home when it still contains most of her things and barely any of ours because there is no room for our things.  On top of it all Jagger is teething, which is no small thing for him.  His fifth tooth has come through and he is working on his sixth, which makes for a very cranky Jagger.

I am finally finding some semblance of a groove again, which is nice.  But I still can't wait to get my things here.  I want my pictures on the walls and my curtains put up.  I want my bed and my book shelf.  I want the rest of my clothes!  I want my things here!  It just doesn't feel like home yet, and honestly I'm not sure that it ever will.  I'm worried about living next door to my Mother-in-Law and her tendency to be way too bossy and try to tell us how to raise our children.  But at least I've found a small piece of normalcy in my routine.  I thank God for that!  I've had to neglect my blog for the past week or so, because I've just had too much to do and I was unsure where to start.  I am finally able to get back to my full routine, which I am so thankful for!  It makes the balancing a bit easier.

I will be able to finish Jagger's Event, starting tomorrow!  Which means that my giveaways will be going up.  I didn't think it would take this long to get the house in some sort of order, but it did.  I am glad to be able to get back to doing what I need to do on this blog instead of just having to focus on the house.  I'm looking forward to being able to get my reviews up and finally finish the Jagger's Turning One Event.

Also, I have started another blog.  You can check it out if you want to, and feel free to follow me, I haven't posted much yet, but I'm planning on posting later tonight or tomorrow.  Feel free to follow it if you want to.  (=  It's called The Vintage Housewife!



Martha Giffen said...

First time to your blog and it's cute, cute, cute! I do want to tell you that making the decision to stay home with your kids will be one of the best you will ever make. If you can do it, more power to you. Would love for you to check out our new site and forum at Thanks SO much!

Babes Mami said...

I'm sure you will get it together soon and if not, search for the next place and make it yours. This works for y'all for now. Give it a little time.

Christy said...

The first thing I always did except for getting beds set up was put the pictures on the walls. It seemed to add that little touch of being our house. I don't know why, but I thing being able to look around and see the family photos made me feel better.

It will be better soon. There is always an adjustment but it usually doesn't take as long as you think it will.

Ashlee @ The Zombie Housewife said...

Thanks Steph! I'm just worried it's always going to feel like my Mother-in-Law's house.

That's what I was talking to Justin about last night, Christy. Getting our photos put up on the walls and all that. I agree that it will help make it feel like home! I just got Jagger's one year photos in, and I think I'll pick up a few frames for some of them tomorrow and stop by my Dad's house and get our other photos to put on the walls.

jsmommy9804 said...

Stay at the house until things get better, then you can move into a home that is all your own. Keep your head up girl.
Staying home isn't a bad thing, wish I had it figured out when J was born instead of heading into an accounting office and hating every unbearable second of it and wishing I was with her instead, then S came along :)
As they get older it doesn't slow down either, you know my schedule is packed with driving those 2 everywhere and keeping up with the house and the husband...but at the end, it's all worth it to see everyone happy and doing what they love.
We are damn good moms and 2 peas in a pod LOL

nitebyrd said...

In time, as you get normalized, the house will be filled with your family's energy and then it will be what you want. Relax as much as possible, you'll get everything done that needs to be done. Bossy MIL's should be heard but never listened to.

The Queen said...


Road trip.. duty calls..

Anonymous said...

Nothing beats the convenience of city.

The Queen said...

you'll adjust.. You will make it your home.. you will have your memories there.. and you can always put gators out to keep the mil in check.. I'll loan you a starter pair.. they mate..

Kimberly said...

Love the new look of your blog, but it's too slow to load. I find the Wibiya toolbar is what does that.

DazzleMea said...

I too wk struggling with something similar. We've been moved in to the new house for about a month and a half now and I'm still having a hard time adjusting. Add in an ever developing baby into the mix and it feels like I'll never adjust. Lol. My mother is also constantly trying to tell me how I *should* be raising my kids...I think that comes with the territory of being into attachment parenting. I've learned to tune out the super annoying bits and just reply with, "Yeahhh....". Hopefully, you'll be able to find your balance soon. :hugs:

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