Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Reply to Renee's Posts

I read Renee's blog and the one written by her husband.  Ordinarily I wouldn't reply or post about such things, and I actually came online to get my Fawk You Friday and Blog Stalk Friday post ready to go so that I could go to bed.  But my Ange has been upset by these posts, and that bothers me.  Why?  Because Ange is an amazing woman and an amazing person.  She has never done anything but try to help me and anyone else that she thinks may need help.  And I don't think it's right for someone to be singled out, especially someone as good as Ange, in a situation like this.

I am the one who found Renee's blog post.  That was ME, not Ange.  So if you want to pick on someone, then I suppose I should be the one you choose.  As far as I know and have heard no one has mentioned your treatment at all.  It is your right to be treated in any way you choose to be treated.  It's your choice, and no one should have anything to say about that, in my opinion.  Ange never spoke an ill word about you or your wife, and I've not only spoken to her on the phone but also on Yahoo IM quite a bit since last night, and was even speaking with her while she wrote her original I'm Sorry post, which you so kindly linked to. 

When I found Renee's blog, it was not out of malice or with any ill intent at all.  I just wanted to read her blog in hopes to better understand her and her situation.  Since I am the one who found it, I am assuming that a lot of your negative comments are in reference to me.  I'm guessing that I'm the one who "doesn't have anything better to do with her time" and who is the "one person" who "ruined a good thing" and "only cares about the popularity of her blog" as you said.  I went to your blog in hopes of being able to reach out to you and your family further, because I understand better than a lot of people what it is like to watch someone you love dearly battle cancer.  I did not make assumptions based on your blog, I simply read it, and realized that you did not lose your home due to the cancer diagnosis, as was implied.  I was baffled by this.  I was baffled by the fact that she chose an RV'ing lifestyle a few years ago, when it was implied that you all had lost your home due to Carl being the bread winner and him being out of work due to his severe illness.  Not the place you park your home, but your actual home, your house!  It was also thought, by a lot of us, that Renee was looking for another house to replace the house that was lost.  That is simply not the case, and you know it as well as I that it is not.

I have not, nor has anyone that has made a post that I have read, ever tried to imply that this was all a scam.  No one has stated that you made up his illness, but the situation does sound a lot worse when you are told that you all have lost your home and have been forced into living in an RV because of this.  I would also like to say that I highly doubt that anyone did anything for you based on blog popularity, as you accused.  A few days ago you were saying how overwhelmed you were by the blogospheres generosity, and now we're all just a bunch of number whores, huh?  Interesting how things change so quickly when the promise of money is taken away, isn't it?  We all rallied around you when we thought you were homeless, when we thought you had been forced out of your home and were hungry and cold.  We all did that out of the kindness of our hearts.  I worked so hard trying to promote this cause, as did a lot of other good, kind hearted people!  I even made it onto The #Support Daily on Twitter because of all of my tweeting trying to help get people involved.  We all tried out very best to reach out to you in this time, and the only thing we wanted was a little honesty.  Is that too much to ask?

A few of my friends thought I was crazy today because I actually have been trying to track down Renee's email address all day, short of writing Gucci about it.  Because I wanted to know if it would be okay for me to send out the clothing that I had gathered up for her and had my friends gather up for her and I needed to know her address for that.  I also wanted to ask her if it would still be okay for me to speak with some members of my Church on Sunday or Wednesday about getting some winter coats and some more clothing and such together. They thought I was crazy because I still wanted to give to you even though I hadn't heard your side of the story, and even though shipping costs are a lot of money to me right now I still wanted to give to your children.  Why?  I've explained why before, in my first blog post about your situation.  Because I know what it's like to have a loved on with cancer.  Because I know that it's a hard situation you're in.  But after watching you call one of the most generous people I know a "stupid bitch" or whatever asinine term you used, I just don't know what to say.  She is someone who went out of pocket to not only donate to you, but to host a giveaway (at her own expense) to promote more giving!  It actually seriously pisses me off that either of you would resort to name calling, especially towards Ange.  I would just like to let you know, that "stupid bitch" would do just about anything in her power to help anyone out.  That "stupid bitch" once offered to let my husband, my two boys and myself move into her home and help to get my husband a job.  That "stupid bitch" was willing to let me move states and live with her, with my two young children and my husband in an effort to help us get in a better situation.  That "stupid bitch" would have done ANYTHING she could do to help you all out.  Because that's how that "stupid bitch" is!

Carl, you said that if anyone thinks they can live on 600 dollars a month plus food stamps to be your guest.  Do you think that there aren't people out there making it work who get way less than that?  Because I know that there are!  How do I know?  Because I am currently one of them!  My husband has been laid off for the past few months, and we have been living on just his unemployment, which is much less than 600 dollars a month.  It's actually less than 200 dollars monthly, plus food stamps.  I would love to be getting 600 dollars a month, but I'm not and though I do have financial stress, I am well aware that we get enough to get our needs met through strict budgeting and smart shopping.  I go without a lot, but my kids have everything they need and some things they want. So please, don't tell me that it is impossible to live on 600 dollars a month, because I'm living on less and I have one son in diapers who grows out of his clothes quite quickly as he's a baby, and one son that I just bought school clothes for.

I don't know where you got the idea that anyone said you were a "cancer scammer" because no where have I read that you are faking cancer.  Letting people assume your situation is worse than it is, assume you've been kicked out of your house and forced into an RV isn't exactly the truth, and there could have been legal issues for Gucci because of the misinformation.

All that being said, I'm going to comment you with this blog post link.  If you would still like the clothing for your children, and for me to speak with my Church about helping to get even more clothes, then you can email me.  My email address is all over this blog, so it won't be hard to find.  I would still be glad to help your children out, because I hate to think of a child doing without.  As I said in my last post, my deepest sympathies to your family and my sincerest hopes for healing goes out to you all!



Ange said...

I think what upset me the most was that some uneducated asshole felt that he could respond to me on my level... seriously, he did not know who he was dealing with!

They are lucky that no one calls CPS on them. Just sayin'.

Diva said...

very well said.

jsmommy9804 said...

I love you Ashlee, I'll still punch her if you want. How dare anyone get mad at you or anyone else who tried to help them. They were in the wrong for letting people assume they were worse off than they are. They are wrong for allowing it to go on so long. They are wrong for lashing out now that all the support for their plight has dried up.
You are still a generous person, I can understand not wanting their children to do without.
As for the $600 a month plus food stamps, MILLIONS of people do it every month, they are not that fucking special. They have no bills to pay except food which can be purchased with food stamps. $600 will go far with no bills.
I am pissed that someone could be such a jackass to people who were trying to help. Nowhere in any blog I've read attached to this situation said they were lying about his cancer or his type of treatment. The only thing I read was that people felt duped that things are not as bad as these assholes led people to believe.
Grrr Now I've gone and written a whole blog post on your comments to people who don't deserve my time.

♥Cari♥ said...

Very well said! I wanted to know if there had been anything said on there end, so I skipped over. I then learned that she follows my blog - small world. Anyway - I never said in my post that I didn't believe he had cancer. Cancer is bad enough - there's no reason to go make your situation sounding worse than it really is.

DazzleMea said...

Just wow and WTF indeed! All I know is feelings were hurt all over the place. It's upsetting that it's gotten to the point of name calling. I, for whatever reason, would still like to donate because I've been in some super shitty situations myself (I once lived on the streets, no money, no roof)..

Babes Mami said...

Good job! I was checking her blog yesterday to look for a post about it, I will check it out now!

I might have some hand me downs for Jager, Babe is starting to outgrow the last of his 12 month stuff.

Christy said...

The personal connection that too many people have with cancer made it so much more important to help them. Misrepresenting themselves is the worst because of the emotional pull. For them to be upset that others are upset just shows they wanted symmpathy and didn't care how this information would affect others.

Kristin @ Domestically Disabled said...

Ok I am just gonna trow this out does someone in an RV, that lives in a parking lot, cannot afford to winterize it or blah blah, have the internet access to keep such an updated blog??? I mean ok I can see library, but to post so often? anyway..just pointing out that if I had to live in an internet would be the first to go...

JoJo said...

Excellent! I'm just finished catching up on all the drama surrounding this case. I personally made a small donation because I have a lot of trust and respect for some of the bloggers promoting the cause and it's unfortunate that they weren't given all the facts. I'm glad you've made it a point to clear some misconceptions up. I hope everything works out.

nitebyrd said...

I missed the whole aftermath but you're definitely a good friend AND a good person!

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