Conan O'Brien, Twitter Snob Extraordinaire

If you're a follower of mine on Twitter then you have probably noticed that I'm highly offended that Conan O'Brien is not following me back and that I'm willing to do just about anything to get him to follow me.  I'm not hurt so much as I am shocked.  I mean, I put a lot of time into following Conan, no not in a creepy stalker way.  I don't live near him, and it just doesn't make sense for me to commute for this purpose right now.  We're hoping that maybe in a year or two this might be possible, but right now it's just not.  What with gas prices, my youngest not being in school, my therapist telling me 3 times a week that it's just not healthy.  You know, all the practical reasons. 

Anyway, I got up this morning and went to check for new tweets over at Conan O'Briens twitter page.  I guess I just don't pay attention to numbers all that much, but today it hit me.  Conan O'Brien is not following me back.  Seriously Conan?  Seriously?  I honestly couldn't believe it!  I mean, you spend all this time following this person, laughing at their tweets, giggling at their wit and then you find out that they do not follow you back.  It's an earth shattering, life altering experience, to say the least.  To top it all off I also see that Conan is only following one person.  Just one person.  I got to thinking, what does this person have that I don't have?  Why is Conan only following this one person, and oddly enough that person is not me.

Did he not see the #FF Tweet that Ian @TheDDoR sent out about me?  Does he not know about how impossibly amazing and awesome I am?  Is he not aware about how much I love him and how I was a loyal supporter of his shows?  Does he not know that I am not boycotting the entire NBC network?  Don't worry Coco, I still fully believe that without you they are nothing, even though I am quite distraught that you in fact do not follow me back. 

I've even offered to send him some Columbus Day decorations if he will just follow me back.  You see Conan was looking for some Columbus Day decorations yesterday, but couldn't find any.  So I, being a Columbus Day loving American, just like Conan, offered to send him some of my amazing hand made Columbus Day decorations.  He should really just give up, quit being the ultimate Twitter snob and follow me back.  I'm a good friend in real life, but I'm an even better friend on Twitter.  Ask anyone, it's true!  I mean how many of your twitter followers have offered to send you hand made decorations for obscure holidays that no one decorates for?  I'm willing to bet none, but I did Conan!

I have also offered to battle the one person he follows in a Conan Follows the Winner on Twitter Fight to the Death.  But I'm afraid that may not have been very attention grabbing.  Conan probably hears that all the time, so I guess I'm just going to have to brain storm something more memorable and a bit more unique to grab his attention.

What would you do if you were trying to get Conan O'Brien to follow you on Twitter?  Any suggestions?