Sunday, May 9, 2010

I always cry on Mothers Day

I have a love/hate relationship with this holiday. Which is better than the just solid I HATE Mothers Day stance that I had from the time I was 6 years old up until oh, around 4 years ago. I didn't come around to loving, or even liking, Mothers Day until I got preggy with the oldest of my two baby loves.

My Mommy passed away when I was just 5 years old. I hated being forced to still participate in crafts at school. Every year my teacher would say "Ashlee, don't be difficult honey, you can just give it to your GrandMother." Like I was being rude for not wanting to glue a poem to pink or red construction paper for the Mother that I would never have a chance to hand my creation to. I wasn't being difficult. I was being honest, you don't need to make a Mothers Day card, poem, paper box etc. if you don't have a Mother to give it to. No, I can't just give it to my Granny I would argue, because my Granny is not my Mother. She'll never take the place of my Mother nor will I ever feel the same way about her that I feel about my Mother. I love my Granny, don't get me wrong, but not in the same way I loved my Mommy. Every year this would happen until we stopped making crafts in class on Mothers Day. It kind of scarred me, to be honest.

The only reason I love Mothers Day now is because I am the Mother of two sweet baby boys. I love them dearly, and it's nice to have a day where I get recognized for all that I do for them, their Daddy and around this house. Being a stay at home mom, I kinda put all I have to give into the kids, my Husband and the house.

I also like to take this day as an opportunity to talk to my boys about the beautiful, amazing, strong and wonderful woman that they will never get to meet, my Mother. I rarely get through these talks without crying, but I want them to know about her.

So Happy Mothers Day to my Mommy in Heaven - I love you and miss you so much, and all the other amazing Mothers out there today! Enjoy your day and know that there are people in your life that cherish you, love you unconditionally and are very grateful for all that you do!


Stacie Errera said...

me too!

I'm a full-time mummy said...

I would also do the same as you when my toddler is older. I'm going to tell him what an awesome grandparents they were to his mummy and how mummy badly wished that they are still alive to see him.

And yes, I do agree with the part on cherishing the people around you. I keep telling my friends about this but I guess they wouldn't understand... not until they lose their loved ones... :(

Love comma Ashlee said...

I see that from time to time as well. Sometimes people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone. I don't like reading posts about people complaining about having to buy their Mothers gifts for today, because I would give almost anything to be able to do what they dread doing.

Shawna said...

I'm so sorry you lost your mommy. That's something a girl could never heal from. May you look forward to being reunited with her one day.

It's so awesome that you're telling your boys all about her. Do you still have your dad?

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