Today I am participating in Thanksgiving Thursday with one of my favorite Bloggy Mama's -- Mama Hen of Mama's Little Chick! I thought this fitting for my first real, not announcing the winners of the contests blog post since coming back. Thanks Mama Hen, for this great idea you have come up with I am so psyched to participate!
I have been depressed for a while now, well ever since my Husband lost his job really, which I think happens to most of us at one time or another. (1.) So today I am thankful for my family, because my baby boys and my Husband pulled me out of that funk I was in and showed me what was really important -- the little things in life! I now realize that you can't hide from problems and issues that life throws at us, and that if you dwell on them then it always seems so much worse than it is. So in the future I will try very hard not to make that mistake and do those things again. (2.) I am thankful for that realization as well.
(3.) I am thankful for me real friends. The ones who didn't try to kick me when I was down, the ones who didn't make fun of my real life problems, the ones who were there for me through my issues with depression. I am grateful for each and every one of them for understanding what I was going through with Justin losing his job, my Father and I going through a rough patch, the issues with having to figure out how to get the house fixed up and get the black mold taken care of, even though no one wants to touch the room because of the black mold. I just want to take this time to thank each and every one of my friends for their understanding, love, support and advice because I appreciate and love them so much for being there for me when I was down.
(4.) I am thankful for my Husband getting his job back! That has taken a lot of weight off our shoulders. I feel so blessed that he was able to start working again and that he went to the counsel meeting to fight for his job. That showed me how determined he is to take care of us and to work, and how much he loves us. Someone who wasn't as determined wouldn't have went and would have just given up and felt defeated.
(5.)I'm also thankful that I am no longer depressed! I am so thankful that the weight of the depression has been lifted from my shoulders and that I feel like myself again. That is a wonderful feeling, if you've never been through it then trust me it's an amazing feeling! I am so grateful to return to some normalcy and to feel like Ashlee again, my only regret is that I lost a great friend through my depression and probably in part due to it because I was generally confused, hurt, angry and lost and the fact that I lost that friend for a petty reason has put a weight on my heart. I don't think there is anything I can do about it now, but I have grown and learned from that experience as well, as much as it pains me to know that I was partly in the wrong through that situation. I suppose that the best thing that could have came out of that situation is that I learned a lesson and have grown as a person from it, and that's all we can hope for from any of our mistakes that we make in life. Even though we don't know how to right things sometimes, as long as we grow and learn from them then they weren't for nothing, right? I have learned to not make decisions in the heat of hurt and anger, especially when I'm already not myself because of the feelings that depression brings. I've learned that you always need to at the very least take the time to speak to someone about how you're feeling before you make a decision that will affect both of you as well as mutual friends.. I would like to say I am sorry to T, you were one of the best friends I ever had, and I've always loved you dearly. It bothers me every day that we are no longer friends, and it hurts me to know that it is partly my fault. *sigh* Anyway, I'm not going to speak on this anymore right now, because it's making me feel bad and honestly, as much as I hate to talk about things like this, it really hurts me to talk about it now.
