Opinions, please!

Have you ever just been at your wits end with one of your kids?  You know they keep on and keep on and keep on and so on and so on, and you keep saying "No, don't do that!" over and over.  They keep doing it anyway, even after being punished for it 3 times.  Well I had a moment like that with Aiden last night.  It had been a long day, a very long day, and he just wouldn't let up and had been in trouble 3 times if not more in the past 25 minutes.  Well then he decides to get about an inch away from my face and start screaming at me.

Now, have you ever done something that you are not proud of, as a parent?  You know maybe your kid is an inch away from your face after being in trouble 3 times if not more in the past 25 minutes, and they're just right there in your face yelling -- screaming, at you.  Then maybe you, in your frustration raise your voice back at them and say "You better get out of my face little boy!" and your child backs away and starts crying, because you yelled at them while they were yelling at you, an inch away from your face.

That's what happened at our house last night.  I felt immediately horrible for losing my temper and yelling at Aiden, but I was just really at my wits end with him acting up at that point.  So I got up and went to the bathroom, and I was praying and asking for guidance.  Then all of a sudden I hear my Mother-in-Law telling Justin "If I EVER see that girl screaming in my babies face like that again I WILL call Child Advocate!"  First of all, I would just like to say that I did not scream in Aidens face.  Did I raise my voice?  Yep, I sure did!  But he was yelling at me -- his mother, an inch away from my face!  Of course I'm going to get angry, that's disrespectful and he knows better.  He knows he shouldn't be doing that.  But I did not scream at him.  I did raise my voice and tell him to get out of my face, which he did after that because kids can always tell your "I mean business" tone of voice.

Well then my Mother-in-Law decides to tell my Husband that he needs to "Step up and act like a man and tell her that you're not going to tolerate her screaming in your little boys face like that."  I'm sorry, since when is it not okay to raise your voice at your child who is yelling at you right in your face?  I did not bend down and get in his face to yell at him, I simply raised my voice at him while he was already in my face.  I didn't threaten him or say I was going to bust his butt, all I said was "You had better get out of my face, little boy."  Because, well, he better not ever get up in my face screaming at me.  She acts like I got in his face and was screaming at him in some evil tone of voice, which did not happen.  He was already in my face when I raised my voice at him, it scared him because he knows when I use that tone of voice I'm serious and he's in trouble and/or doing something very wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I feel bad about it.  Then again I feel badly anytime I have to punish Aiden.  I do not often lose my cool with him, I don't hit him when I get angry -- in fact most of the time I will take a time out to sit and think about what would be the best way to go about discipline when I'm angry.  I don't act out of anger, or at least I try my best as much as is humanly possible to not act out of anger towards anyone especially my babies!

So my question is: Do you consider what I did bad enough for CPS or Child Advocate to come in and remove my children from my care?  Or is this, in your opinion, just another case of Justins mother making a mountain out of a mole hill and sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong?

In other news we were so worried that Jagger had Chickenpox!  His entire back and neck, head and some of his legs were broke out in these little red bumps.  I took a photo of it to show my friend Summer to get her opinion on it, and we just could not be sure.  So I took him to the doctor yesterday.

Jaggers Back!

It was not Chickenpox, it's a viral rash that is because of his cold.  When the cold goes away the rash will as well.  But, and this is a big but to me, he was diagnosed with Asthmatic Bronchitis, and has to take breathing treatments 3 times a day and cough syrup before each treatment.  He also got prescribed an antibiotic and a cream to put on his rash.  Poor little guy!  His rash is already looking a little better, I think though.

The Bad, The Other Bad & The Oh So Good!

I've got a lot to say today, couple that with the fact that I am naturally verbose and wordy and this could get long!  I'm going to try to fit it all into one post, but if I can't then I'll have to half it and write half now and half tonight before I go to bed.  I finally got Internet access late last night, but was so tired that I didn't feel like sitting up much less typing a post out.  Especially this post.

• The Bad Part

I had a horrible argument with my Dad the other evening.  This is nothing new, because we mix just about as well as oil and water.  Since we've been living with him our relationship has progressively gotten worse.  My Daddy and I can not live together.  We push each others buttons, and we both have a tendency to speak without thinking when angered.  We also both have a bad case of I'm Getting The Last Word Even If It Kills Us Both Syndrome.  Everyone knows that I lack a filter, whatever I think I say -- I got that from my Daddy.  I also picked up his quick wit and razor sharp tongue in the genetic lottery.  I consider the latter both good and bad because it means that I always have a snappy comeback that at the same time worse, meaner, funnier and wittier than whatever anyone says to provoke me.  That's not always a bad thing, but when you're arguing with your Father who has that same capability it's not so good because that means it can go from a minor disagreement to World War III in less than 10 seconds.
My Daddy and I love each other very much.  I would do anything in the world for him and anything in my power to make him happy and protect him.  He will always be there for me no matter what I do, no matter what I say and it doesn't even matter if I'm right or not because he will always be on my side, and he will always pick me up if I fall or even if I stumble.  We just can not live together.  We can't.
The day before my last post he said some cruel things to me.  He said that he has already made sure that his sisters know that if anything were to ever happen to him that I am not allowed to step foot in his hospital room at all, even if he's seconds away from death.  He said that is how much he hates me.  He hit me where it hurts the most.  He knows that my greatest fear since childhood has been something happening to him.  I worry about him and I always have, it's a side effect of losing my Mother at a very young age.  He knows that I still worry about something happening to him.  That was it.  The last straw, I just couldn't do it anymore.  He apologised later on and told me that was not true and he didn't know why he said it other than he was just really mad.  I told him that if this is what our relationship has come to then something has to give, because I'm done having cruel things said to me and I'm equally done saying cruel things and arguing. 

• The Other Bad Part

My Husbands Maternal Granny is a wonderful person.  She is so giving, caring, kind, compassionate, Godly, sweet, loving, nice, pious, considerate and just an all around lovely, amazing person.  She's getting older, and with that age comes sickness and illness.  She has had 2 or 3 surgeries since Jagger was born. She has recently had a knee surgery and was left unable to walk.  She used a wheelchair, then a walker and is now currently walking with the help of a cane when she's out, but she doesn't use any kind of walking aid within her own house.  She's not the Granny she used to be because she can't do the things she used to do, but she's still the same amazing person she has always been on the inside.  She is one of the only older women that i know who I look up to and view as a sort of role model.  She is such a good person, and everyone who knows her loves her and respects her.  She is one of the most pious women I know, but she's not narrow minded, stuck up or a hypocrite.  She's fun and she's funny.  She is everything I hope to be.  She is the pillar of this family, and she would and has done anything possible to help anyone she knows.

• The Good Part

Since Granny is in such bad shape she has to have someone with her.  Since my Mother-in-Law's house is right next door to Granny's the obvious choice would be her.  The house on the other side of Grannys' used to be Sissy Kim's, but she passed away a few days before the Baby Shower she was planning for me when I was pregnant with Aiden.  I loved her so much!  I miss her.  Justins' Aunt Audrey has moved into Sissy Kim's old house to help with Granny.  My Mother-in-Law had decided to move into Grannys' house with her.
Serena, my Mother-in-Law, was going to rent her house out because she's not living in it anymore and she doesn't plan to ever live in it again.  Justin & I asked her if we could have it, and she said yes.  We have our own home now.  Our very own home -- no more two families under one roof, no more renting, no more not being able to paint Aiden & Jaggers
We've already made plans to get the boys puppies for Christmas.  Jagger is getting a basset hound and Aiden will be allowed to pick his own dog out!  We're planning what colors to paint the boys bedroom and the playroom.  We're planning on what color walls and what color carpet will be put in our bedroom, I'm voting for hard wood all over the house by the way!  The kitchen, hallway and entryway already have hardwood which I'm psyched about because I love hardwood, so if I get my way the only rooms that will have carpets in the boys bedroom and maybe our bedroom.  I just know I want hardwood in the playroom and the living room. 
We've already planned on a Toy Story theme for the boys playroom and have tossed around the idea of their bedroom being Batman themed, since the walls are black already from when it was Justins room in High School.  I want to paint my laundry room and hall way red!  I don't know what we'll end up doing for sure, but I know I'll be posting photos.  Serena still has to get some of her stuff out so that we can move the rest of our things in and get our furniture out of storage and into our new home!  I feel so blessed, so very very blessed to be able to live here.  I have been praying for God to change my Daddys heart towards me, and this must have been in his plans.  This must be how our relationship will be healed, by putting a bit of distance between us which will allow us to have a normal happy Father Daughter relationship again.

Please continue to pray for us!  Pray that the move goes smoothly and that this will help my relationship with my Daddy.  Pray that everything goes well for us and that this will be a good thing.  I would greatly appreciate it, and I greatly appreciate those who offered prayers for our family when I asked in my last post.  If you ever need my prayers then feel free to ask in a comment or you can email me at Love.Comma.Ashlee@gmail.com or The.Zombie.Mommy@gmail.com and I will be happy to return the favor!

This is why I don't leave my house...

I had a horrible day out yesterday.  Horrible.  I don't normally do all day shopping trips and such, but I had a lot to do yesterday and there was no way I was going to drive an hour to get to the nearest city and then an hour home two days in a row.  In case you're wondering, my town offers little in the way of shopping so I have to go an hour away to get to even a Wal-Mart.  Yep.  I live in southern West Virginia, what did you expect?  We don't even have movie theaters, wal-mart, starbucks...none of that here.

So the day started off okay.  We were rushing and all that, but it still started off okay.  I'm going to recap it.

• We get there, drop Justin off at the Doctors office and head to Kohls to see about getting Jagger a shirt to go with his overalls for his pictures.  I get a really cute flannel shirt that's on sale.  Too cute.  
• I sign up for a Kohls card simply because a gay guy asked me to nicely.  Hey, I love the gays.  If I had a dollar for every time I've been called a hag or a fag hag, I'd be giving out Oprah prizes on this bitch.
• Then I go to the party store, and get some decorations and such for his birthday.  I got a shopping cart full of stuff for 20 dollars, not bad!
• I purchase bottle of water.  I can not get the lid off.  I may be his very first customer who he has to teach to open these damned new lids.  Who the hell told the Aquafina people that a little tab you have to pull on the bottle lid to get it off was a good idea?  Some jackass that hates me, that's who.
• Go back to pick Justin up.  He's gone, so I'm like okay he's at the pharmacy.  Not so.  I then go to the hospital and 3 gas stations, not there either.  Turns out the fucker walked to Wal-Mart to look for me.  I thought he was dead or something.
• Go to the dollar tree to look at their Halloween stuff, and spend 28 more dollars on Jagger's party, but we're done with most of the party stuff.  So I'm happy!
• We go eat.  Yay!
• Go to Wal-Mart to get Aiden a Halloween costume.  The only Batman they have is from The Dark Knight.  Goody.  He wanted a blue Batman.  He decides to take the Dark Knight Batman costume.  Which is too long in the legs, because it 's made for an 8 year old, and Aiden is almost 4.  We get that one and agree that I can just hem the legs.
• We go to get Jagger's photos taken.  I want to have one taken with the giant wooden 1 in his speed kills shirt and his distressed jeans.  Nope.  Since my mother in law was paying she decided that he needed to have them taken in some baby clothes.  She then proceeded to tell me that these were her photos and he would have them taken in whatever she wanted them taken in.  That that outfit was ugly or some stupid shit like that, blah blah blah.  I sit there looking at her like she's stupid for a minute, then get up to go search for Aiden a smaller Batman costume while she does her thing being all bossy and shit.  
• Then I come back and she's still being her usual bossy self.  Yay!  Good times, good times.  Then she tells me that I need to stop this crap, because I am stressing Justin out.  Which I find amusing since she sent him a facebook message last week scolding him like a child because of our "naughty language" use.  
• Then we leave, got cute pictures cause my baby is the cutest little boy ever and all.  
• We go to McDonalds, where Aiden and I go in to get fruit and yogurt parfaits and a tea for me.
• I get hit on by one of the smoothest men on the planet.  Seriously boys, you could all learn a thing or two from this douche bag, because his game was a step above any other I've ever come across.   While I was getting my drink Aiden was putting ketchup on some napkins, because he's a great kid like that.  Douche bag McDonalds employee decides this is a good way to strike up a conversation with what he thought was a single mother.  So he says to Aiden "Go ahead and make a mess buddy, I don't have to clean it up" and Aiden says "Okay buddy" and then he gets his drink beside where I am getting mine and says to me "He's so cute" and I say "Thanks, I think so" and he then replys with "You're cute too, ya know" and I say "Yeah, I know!  My Husband tells me how hot I am on a daily basis" Then he walks away.  Nice try Douche bag McDonalds employee, but if I were in fact a single Mother I would be looking for a man who makes more than 7 dollars an hour.  Someone needs to tell him that even TI doesn't have swagg when he's wearing a McDonalds uniform, so he certainly doesn't.  Gah.